Autocorrect ~ Read at Your Own Risk

A special thank you to my friend, Lissa, for inspiring this blog. Although it is not about one of my usual topics, it is a noteworthy subject that came about from a recent text messaging conversation we had. Thank you, Lissa, for your friendship, inspiration, and most of all, your incomparable deciphering abilities.

~ Sandy

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Autocorrect. How did we ever live without this gem of humanity? But more importantly, how do we live with it? For me, autocorrect has created some embarrassing situations and an endless entourage of incoherent messages I may not ever be able to decipher. Has autocorrect created these situations for anyone else, or is it just me?

Autocorrect has become the self-appointed grammar police of the written word in our technology driven world. It doesn’t matter if you are sending a text, an email, or writing a report, it appears at inopportune moments and changes everything. Literally. At times, it completely alters what one has to say. And I mean really changes what one has to say. Incoherent sentences appear where coherent ones used to be.  Words get changed. It’s amazing how changing one word alters the entire context behind a message. Have you ever received a message from someone and had to decipher what they were trying to say? There are times it’s like a jumble puzzle that can’t be solved.

When you really need autocorrect, it completely misses what you needed it to catch, and you look like a moron for what has just appeared as your words or the obvious words you mist. I mean missed. See what I mean?

Is it just me, or does anyone else get frustrated with autocorrect? Better yet, has autocorrect embarrassed you? And is anyone else as dumb as I am and can’t figure out how to turn it off?

Recently, I was texting with a good friend and wanted to wish her luck in an upcoming endeavor. I wrote to her “Good Luck!!!” and hit send immediately. It was a nice message to send.

Or so I thought.

Autocorrect decided I needed to say something else. Substitute an “F” for the “L” in luck and you have the articulate message I sent. Apparently, autocorrect thinks that cursing should be a part of my every day texting vocabulary and that it should be used at inopportune moments. Thankfully, my friend is very forgiving and found it to be rather amusing. I still find myself blushing with a bit of embarrassment.

Not long ago, I met a rather handsome man and we exchanged phone numbers. We began texting, and over time, some fun, light hearted text messaging began. We were joking around one evening and the conversation was amusing and very enjoyable. We were exchanging what I consider “witty banter” when autocorrect came crashing down around me with the utmost in humiliation.

In response to a funny message he had sent, I replied with “Don’t make me kick your butt.”

Or so I thought.  The response I received left me puzzled for a few moments. The response: “Well, I guess if you’re into that sort of thing…”

Huh?

That response seemed out of place until I looked back at my message. Autocorrect had changed “kick” to “lick.” I cannot remember when I have been more horrified or embarrassed, especially since sexual innuendo was completely inappropriate for the conversation we were having at that moment. He understood when I explained that autocorrect had made the change and we had a good laugh. It’s something we joke about now, and it’s probably one of those things I may never live down. And for the record, I’m actually not into that sort of thing.

I had an equally embarrassing conversation via text with my brother a few years ago near Christmas time.  I was asking him about a potential Christmas gift for his wife. We were talking about jewelry and I asked him if his wife likes turquoise. He responded with “no.” I then asked if she likes opal. His response: “Yes, she does enjoy that, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

What?!

I looked back at the message I had sent. Oh, dear lord, I had asked if she liked “oral” and not “opal!” Thank you, autocorrect, for the colossal embarrassment of that moment. Like I needed to hear about my brother’s sex life! And for the record, I don’t recall giving jewelry for Christmas that year, either. In fact, I am still so embarrassed about the text message that I don’t remember what I gave. But I certainly remember the message! And my brother loves to tease, so believe me when I tell you that I will never live that one down.

Let’s suffice it to say that if you are reading anything I have written electronically, keep in mind that autocorrect will come creeping in from time to time. There will be future riches of embarrassment and deciphering galore to be had by all. It is, after all, the world of autocorrect.

It’s as though a precautionary sign is in order.

“Autocorrect in Use – Proceed with Caution and Read at Your Own Risk.”

~ Sandy

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